“Thank you, Mrs Travers, a glass of Mr Graham’s best dry sherry will be just the thing to set me up for the day.”
“Doing the goes-inties and goes-ooties for Mr Chanter are you?”
“No, I am going to do the accounts later in the week when I get the figures back from the Glasgow and Edinburgh branches of ‘Chez Nous, the Interior Decorators of Choice’. I have sent Jasper to collect them and you know what he is like, it will be via the library in Exchange Square and the Royal Scottish Automobile Club for his lunch.”
“Not tae mention they bookies..”
“What was that Mrs T? I do wish you wouldn’t mutter. I know we are Glaswegians but enunciation is everything. Just ask dear Lulu on the right side of Carlisle.”
“Sorry ma’am, I was just sayin’ that knowing Mr Wylie, he’ll be borrowin’ some interestin’ books on interesting’subjects.”
“You clearly have more faith in him than I do Mrs T. As if we don’t have enough books on drystone dykes, five bar gates and early potteries in Govan.”
“Could be worse Mrs W, look at ma man. Well who would wan’ tae, tae be honest. Except that hussy at the ‘Unnecessary Lingerie Shop’ down by the canal, that turned his mind wi’ broderie anglaise.”
“True Mrs T, I should count my blessings. Actually, I am taking your advice and writing to the future in case there are no simply marvellous people 60 years hence.”
“Oh yous mean after that terrible dream yous had when there was a national shortage of Izal lavatory paper and people had to do their own shopping in giant buildings with corrugated roofs and could nae get bread flour or glacé cherries for love nor money.”
“Exactly Mrs T. You are sometimes very wise for a woman what does but not a lot. I feel I owe it to those who come after me, difficult though that is to imagine a world without moi.”
“Aye! Who can imagine a world wi’oot doilies an’ silver spoons fur peanuts?”
“Funnily enough Mrs T, in my dream spoons for peanuts had made a comeback, people had begun to give more thought to where hands had been.”
“Well yous had best get started and put the paper in the Old Royal Typewriter. I will give you a call for lunch. Winter broth today.”
“Well steeped?”
“Aye wane thing yous can say aboot me is that ma barley an’ split peas are well steeped.”
“Well that’s a good starting point – food. I have found a couple of Mamma’s magazines for the first Unpleasantness. Just leave the decanter.”
Sixty Years hence, as I am sure dear Sir Walter Scott would have said, I don’t know if you will have heard of moi. Quite possibly there is a statue in Princes Street Gardens if not an annual holiday in my name. However, in case that is not so in my time I was famous for being simply marvellous and for my programme of Gracious Living. In post war Britain this was considered to be even more of “a tonic to the nation” than the Festival of Britain in 1951. I feel that I owe it you in the future to leave my words of wisdom in case of unexpectedly difficult times.
I am quite sure whoever leads the nation, in your time will make arrangements for this series of tasteful and well-illustrated lecturettes to be distributed to every household (including Paisley) and the sticky-oot bits on the map of Scotland.
Now I know that in times of difficulty it is tempting to stay under the candlewick, cuddling your hot pig. This is not good as before you know where you are, milk bottles are left unwashed on the doorstep and the neighbours begin to think you vote Labour, like my dear Jasper. So, ladies (for it is women on whom the work of managing the household falls in crisis times) get up, put on your fluffy mules and housecoat and greet the day that dawns with a glass of hot water and lemon, some simple exercises. And do put on your face and do your nails – very important, more of this in later chapters.
I want to begin by looking at how my dear Mamma coped in the First Unpleasantness in 1914. I am inspired by having discovered a number of her Mother and Home magazines from the period in the bottom of one of her ammunition boxes (she was an excellent shot) which Jasper is planning to use for growing celery. Or so he says.
It is particularly interesting that as that war progressed, there was an increasing preoccupation with food. Perhaps you might be experiencing this too. Can we learn from the past I wonder? Whatever your situation, I can assure you that communication will be key.
One of the articles I particularly like is in the July 1915 issue where Mamma has underlined an item which describes a clever and novel way of spreading ideas to remote communities. Her great friend Vicountess Helmsley, President of the Women’s Imperial Health Association, suggests caravan lectures, rather like the Gospel caravans of old. In 1915 it was all about spreading the word about food values and cooking. One of the things highlighted here was the dangers posed by old fashioned feeding bottles for infants. Unfortunately, Lady Helmsley had to abandon this idea as the army requisitioned the caravan!
However, this is an idea worth thinking about as it would be relatively inexpensive. I might have a go at this myself. Of course I would get someone to drive the caravan. Jasper and I would come along them after a good night’s sleep at a first class hotel. What a wonderful way though to instruct people in far flung places, like Tiree for example, in the art of napkin folding.
There are many old fashioned ways of helping to feed a nation in times of difficulty, and that is by doing so much more yourself. I am thinking for example of bee-keeping. Honey is useful in food and medication, particularly in a hot toddy. Now Jasper is always talking about keeping bees, and he has got as far as getting the outfit and the thing he likes best – the puffy whatnot full of smoke, but the hives and bees have yet to materialise.
Small scale looking after oneself from one’s little garden with bees is not without problems. In 1915, for example, much distress was caused to cottagers keeping bees by ‘Isle of Wight Disease’. This fever which attacked the bees left them so limp and exhausted that they were unable to fly and honey production was no longer possible.
Sometimes in times of trouble, institutions that we have been used to frequenting suddenly have no use whatsoever. While I freshen my glass of Tio Pepe, let us think about the role of public houses in a national emergency.
Now it may well be that alcohol is in short supply or one is for some reason not allowed to congregate for drinking purposes. What to do?
Sylvia Pankhurst had a very clever idea relating to a pub called ‘The Gunmakers Arms’ in a densely populated area of London. The licence “fell through” and Sylvia and her workers took over and re-named it “The Mothers’ Arms”, providing an up-to-date baby clinic, day nursery and free milk for older children. Sylvia was a great believer in the importance of surroundings and as an accomplished painter she decorated the walls of the pub with studies of children and babies. Out of troubled times sometimes good things come, although not if you are looking for a half and half and a game of dominoes.
Times of national crisis call for economy and that is not, as Mamma used to say as she dashed out to comfort another soldier, just saving, but wisely spending. Now one thing I have noticed in my life which has seen the two Unpleasantnesses, as well as austerity, is that meat often becomes scarce. It is also expensive, so reforming one’s diet makes sense.
Medical authorities, including our Dr Payne, suggest that a vegetarian diet has “an abundance of health – giving properties.” One does have to make this adjustment slowly and be careful that the diet contains protein or anaemia will follow. A simple diet can repay one. As Cecile writes in Mother and Home of 1915 Go Nuts. Cecile has some really tasty suggestions to offer such as Steamed batter and tomatoes, An Egg Pie for Four, Walnut Cutlets and An Omelette with Brown Bread and Stuffed Eggs.
Perhaps you might like one of the recipes – Who can resist the charms of a Lentil Sandwich Mixture?
Take two cupfuls of lentils, wash them, steep in cold water overnight (remember as Mrs T says steeping is everything)
Boil until quite soft
Take four ounces of cheese, chop it up and mix thoroughly with the warm lentils until the whole is well blended together. Now add a little grated nutmeg or mace and mix it in well
A delicious sandwich is made with this mixture. It can also be put into a greased pie dish, sprinkled with fine breadcrumbs and baked in a hot oven until nicely browned.
Now if you live in the country you will be used to having a well organised store cupboard, after all one never knows when there will be 10 feet of snow at the backdoor. Think about things that keep well and might act as a substitute. Of course I, or rather Mrs Travers under my supervision, make our own custard, or Crème Anglaise as those in the know call it.
As it may be difficult to get vanilla from Madagascar or even Motherwell it is an idea to have a tin or two of Bird’s Custard to hand. Men are inordinately and inexplicably fond of custard and in times of emergencies they are apt to wander so a stodgy pudding diet and custard keeps them well-grounded and inactive. To go along with this, I recommend you store a few cans of Ideal Milk, which makes you independent of the dairyman. Except for Lady Pentland-Firth of course who says, she cannot start her day without hearing the milkman rattling his gold- top at her back door.
I cannot imagine any national emergency which would prevent the calling of tradesmen and so your store cupboard should contain a bottle or two of HP Sauce. You never know ladies when you might have a chip in the old chiffonier and be in urgent need of a joiner and a bit of hard wood. Few things spur a joiner on like the promise of a beaker of strong tea and a roll and egg with a spot of brown sauce. It is not, however, something I allow Jasper to have except on his birthday and with the bottle I an appropriate container. Bottles of bought sauce are the very antithesis of Gracious Living. If I had my way, I wouldn’t have them in the house, but live and let live I say and as you know I am the last person one could accuse of being snobbish about food.
It is always a good idea to have a store of flour for bread and cakes. Be careful to keep it in an earthenware crock as it is a magnet to mice and bugs. As a thickener for soups and stews, I recommend a good stock of Brown and Polson’s patent Corn Flour. It’s a by-product of the textile industry and so useful. Prepared with milk it can make all sorts of puddings for children. Brown and Polson have their own recipe book which is available from their factory in Paisley. For that matter so does the Ideal Milk company or as they are known The Anglo Swiss Condensed Milk Company, 6-8 East Cheap, London, E.C..
Eggs are always in demand in a crisis. You should where possible keep your own hens. Failing that can I point you in the direction of EGGO, a dried powdered egg.
Also, on the shopping list for your store cupboard should be Atora Suet for steamed puddings and Oxo Cubes which perk up vegetable dishes when meat is in short supply and you can even make a drink of it. It’s the sort of thing men like, it reminds them of football matches. Or is that Bovril ? I forget. Anyway two cubes, a pint of water and an onion makes a passable Consommé. Ask British Rail ,they have been trying to pass it off for years.
Don’t forget cocoa, I like Fry’s. It has many uses in cooking and makes a soothing night time drink before going up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire.
In times of difficulty it does not do to waste food or indeed to be flippant with it. However, sometimes we all need a laugh and I well remember as a girl waiting to go into the Kings Theatre in Glasgow and being entertained as we queued by a clown who was wearing a banana as a bow tie.
On that note I shall leave you for now. I was going to say do get in touch if you have any enquiries but of course Jasper and I will not be here, so I shall jolly well have to anticipate your needs. I hope this is a start to surviving whatever you are dealing with and I am sure there will be some mechanism for sharing your top tips for food and other matters when we all need a Tonic for the Nation, preferably with gin.
“That’s lunch, I mean luncheon, ready Mrs Wylie. I thought I’d make the vegetarian version of Winter Broth, seeing as yous are tryin’ to make things go further in the future.”
“Oh really? How disappointing. In that case shall we have a glass of Tio Pepe with it?”
“Don’t mind if I do Mrs W. I’ll have to open anither bottle. Yous seem tae have polished that decanter off. I’d better telephone Mr Graham this afternoon and have him deliver some more.”
“Excellent Mrs T. By the way have you ever have a lentil sandwich? No, me neither.”
à bientôt
Muriel Wylie
April 1960
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